There's a Cat on the roof!!!!

Poor kitty got stuck on my neighbor's roof!  Can you believe it?

I can't...

xoxo
L

Things that make me laugh...

My sister sent me this and I chuckled...

http://pinterest.com/pin/76139049919731385/

Fashion rule #1

ALWAYS match your fingernails to your dog's poop bags. 

~L

T-Rex says...

HAPPY WEDNESDAY NIGHT, Y'ALL!

Things that Make Me Laugh...

In lieu of a flashback today, I'm posting this: Pictures you need to see before you die.

Yay!

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/pictures-you-need-to-see-before-the-world-ends

Please note:

#2 Are you kidding me?

#6 Reminds me of Remy.  The resemblance is totally there.

#16 Are you kidding me?!?!??!?!

#23 I can't take this one.

#27 ARE YOU KIDDING ME!

#30 They must be kidding. Me.

Things that make me laugh...

http://trextrying.tumblr.com/

I feel so bad for the poor T-Rex!!!

Go to the above blog if you need a good (work appropriate) laugh.  These illustrations are awesomely creative and funny, funny, funny.

I'm not gonna lie...you should just lie.

Dear "I'm not gonna lie" phrase lovers and abusers,

First of all, thank you...for not lying to me.  Second of all, does someone regularly accuse you of speaking in non-truths? Are you a recovering pathological liar? Or are you merely making it known that this is a free country and you could lie if you wanted to lie, but you don't so you won't?  

I get that it's the modern-day version of "honestly..." but I am so done with the added sentence bulk.  Maybe we can retire it...just for a little? Til momma's ears have had a rest?

I'm not gonna lie (because if I were, I wouldn't tell you) this phrase is killing me (not an exaggeration). 

Happy Saturday, Passover and Easter!

Mama Don't Club No Mo'

Last night, I went where no part of me wanted/but everyone thinks a Jersey girl should want...to go.  I went to a club.  Like an, UNCE UNCE UNCE, fists in the air, guido-loving club.  And I've never been more terrified.  

The days leading up to the big clubbing extravaganza were nerve wracking.  Will I get let in at this age?  What if they see my wrinkles and turn me away?  Must I spring for a spandex tube dress with slits down the side, spray tan myself bronze like a little trophy and drop an ecstasy pill just to belong?  I mean, that's what clubbing is, right?  WHAT DO I DO?!  I figured that I should think back to college when clubbing was a weekly thing.  My brain short circuited immediately because back then when I went to a club, I was always just so pumped to have someone check my ID and let me through the door, that what happened afterwards was meaningless.  Even though, I'm pretty sure it included me laughing at my friends dancing while I never left the bar and inevitably talked someones' ear off.

FACTS: 

~I've always been a horrendous dancer and therefore only partake in moves such as the robot or a Shakespearean interpretation of Beyonce's, "Who Run the World?" 

~I've always liked bar stools. Clubs do not have bar stools. 

~Boozy Laura = Insanely loquacious Laura.  All I wanna do is TALK YO EAR OFF! Just kidding. Sorta.

So, no dancing, screaming over loud music to people who can't hear me with no place to sit.  That's what I went into it thinking about.  HOWEVER, the reason behind this whole club thing was going to be worth it.  One of my very best friends whom I've known and loved since the 6th grade was turning 29.  29!  That's a pretty big deal.  I obviously had to be there. She is a retired club kid who thought that it would be fun to throw the old dancing kicks back on for a night. I get it!  And I was even honored that she invited me.  So that's why I ended up at a "monster huge" club with reviews like: "Guido-supreme on Saturdays!" and "On most nights you can usually find a place to stand."

What happens if we don't find a place to stand?!  

Ultimately, we came, we clubbed, we got home at 2am and ate an entire pizza laughing over how ridiculously FUN the night was.  I can't believe how judgmental I've been to all these crazy clubbers.  Every girl that I talked to or bumped into was super nice and although some of guys were a tad on the scary-tan & muscle-y side, they weren't completely freaking me out with their guido supreme-ness.  I had an epiphany.  Guido's are people too! Sure, I probably won't ever go to a club again but I will definitely have more of an open mind about the whole thing.  Lesson learned. Go me!

Oh, and my voice is shot.  I scream/talked for 3 hours straight and proceeded to go completely deaf as I walked to our cab at 2am.  YAY!

Pictures from our fabulous 3 hour foray into the club scene:

Guido-bait.

Photobombed by the hubs.

Me and the birthday girl. Clubbing into our 30's!

It was WAY past our bedtimes.

xoxo
~L

Flashback Friday

These pictures are from my 25th birthday.  Jeff and I had been dating about a year and he decided to surprise me at work with the most elaborate display of desk-insanity I've STILL ever seen.  The only problem with such an outwardly crazy surprise was that I was fairly new at my job and I hate surprises. Talk about being completely mortified. 

How many tablecloths were killed in the making of this?  Too many.

Smiling through the shortness of breath.

Sunflowers are my favorite.

Even my bobble-head Jesus got a Post-it.

I feel how I look here. Crazy.

AND what is up with the Barbie theme?! Oh Jeff.  He really knew how to woo his woman (well, I did marry him a year later- dang)! 

HAPPY FRIDAY! xoxo

Raccoon videos!!!

 Raccoons are my favorite.  These videos...are also my favorite.

Taking the carpet...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6u7ylr0zIg&feature=related

Facial Massage...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFkS1ajaneE

RV'ing across America!!!!

I'm so excited and I just can't hide it.  Especially since I keep a blog and there's no reason to (hide it, that is!

Jeff and I, along with two of our most favorite friends, are RV'ing across the WHOLE country this summer!!!!  We will be starting in New Jersey and ending up in LA...where we'll then catch our flight home after 18 days of cross-country shenanigans!

At this very second, our dream list includes:

Nashville (completely out of the way)

Wyoming's Yellowstone Park

Colorado Rockies
South Dakota (Mt. Rushmore. Respect.)

San Fran

AND sooooo many random dive bars in between. This is about to be the ultimate American bar crawl. Whoop whoop!

UPDATED TO ADD that our REAL list included:
PA (biiiiig state, took forever)
Ohio
Indiana
Illinois
Wisconsin
Minnesota
South Dakota (Badlands, Mt Rushmore)
Wyoming for 3 days (Buffalo, Yellowstone, Thayne)
Idaho
Utah (Park City)
Nevada (Reno)
California
-Napa Valley
-Sonoma
-San Fran
-Monterrey
-Santa Cruz
-LA

xoxo
L

Things that make me laugh...

Remy barks at our mail lady.  He doesn't have a little dog bark, and working through it is plain awful.  So, today I removed every climb-able thing from under our bedroom window in an effort to curb the noise for ONE day.  It didn't work.  After what sounded like tap dancing followed by a leap into glass, this is what I found...

 

Remy is more magical than a unicorn.

Things that Make me Laugh...

Why does Remy have to do something SO cute involving how messy my pajama drawer is?  I talked to him about this!!!  Nonetheless, this cannot go unseen.  Upon hearing the rattling of my jewelry tree from my office, I scurried into my bedroom to find Remy going above and beyond in his mission to attain the MOST comfortable sunny spot.  Hard wood floors a little too hard, ey?

 Cleaning party later!

Things that make me laugh...

My nephew!!!!

Now, I would never normally exploit a tot in such a way, but this video cracks me up!  He was about to go down for some sleep and kept swapping out his pacifier for a stuffed mushroom he nabbed from his kitchen set.  The two really do look similar, right?  I think he's onto something here...

 YUM, stuffed mushrooms!

 "I love you, Aunt Laura!"  (he was thinking it)

Things that make me laugh...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-yLGIH7W9Y

Aaah, the things we say...

My personal favorite is, "Are you near a computer?!" 

I've been guilty of that one since weather.com came onto the scene.  First step, leave the house.  Second step, look up down and around in complete bewilderment.  Third step, remove phone from purse and call husband.  Fourth step, hang up and dial Mom when husband's voicemail sounds.  Fifth step, "Mom!  Are you near a computer?  You are?!  Thanks! I need to know if it's going to rain today."

I've never gone back for an umbrella, but I think just knowing helps.

Things that make me laugh...

Who wore it best?

http://www.buzzfeed.com/peggy/who-wore-it-best-the-bread-necklace